”“So, if not yourself Lisa? Then who?” Stewart elbowed my knee making me look down on him. He had been an asshole since he was six. He looked harmless now. In truth, before this morning, despite the bad blood he had fostered, the bad memories of running from the swing set with spiders in my hair, or watching him push Owen teeth first into his middle school locker door, I underestimated just how far ahead of him we had grown up. Without his green ribbon, Stewart was hardly a footnote in my life. With his green ribbon, Leo had easily clipped his wings.“Holly,” I scowled, lying, but I wanted him to be scared. I’d be scared of Leo if I hadn’t been his assistant. Now I could never be scared of Leo, “And Leo knows it to.”Truth was, Holly made Leo softer; Anna made Leo blind; Rebecca made Leo hesitant. I did my best, I hoped. He needed to be hard, aware, and decisive. In twenty minutes, the last bell would ring and we’d know. I wanted to throw up.“That’s the blonde girl?” Stewart remembered. They would do something and I would have this little voice in the back of my head telling me that it wasn’t right. The way they walked, talked, ate, and carried on a conversation. You name it, the little voice in my head could find a problem with it.’ As she spoke about finding fault with every little action of the guys she dated, I knew where this was going. I had envisioned this conversation, but not coming from her. I had dreamed of saying almost the same thing to her, but I never knew she felt the same way, and I didn’t want to push her away as a friend by telling her. Katie, obviously unaware of my thoughts, continued her rambling speech, ‘I eventually realized that the voice was comparing them to you. The way he walked was wrong because it wasn’t the way you walked. The way—’ ‘—her hand felt in mine was wrong because it wasn’t yours,’ as I spoke Katie’s head snapped up. At first she was angry that I had interrupted her. Then she quickly became confused for a split second.
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